The nirvana of being able to share calendars with my family but not have my iOS device pop up with alerts when they have a visit to the dentist or another meeting that I’m not going to has eluded me for some time. I suspect it would be a feature in a release of iOS as I had previously noted that it was an issue for Apple’s employees. I was pleased to eventually find that it is now possible in iOS 7 and 8 when on a recent repeat google search I found How to Turn Off Shared Calendar Alerts on iPhone or iPad in iOS 7 or iOS 8 unfortunately this only seems to work for share iCloud calenders and not if you use Google calenders.